Leaning in.

I tried to sum up the last year in a couple of words and this is all I could come up with.

Lean in.

"What do you mean?" you might ask.

I mean not running away from the hard things. Not denying the things that hurt. Not making myself small and insignificant to keep other people comfortable.

I mean being able to say this sucks. It breaks my heart, but it won't break me.
I mean being willing to say that I'm needy sometimes. That I need people. I need my friends. I need to be told it's going to be okay, even if you don't know that's true. I need you to sit with me while I cry. I need you to pray with me and for me because I don't have any words to say to God right now. I need you to tell me it's okay to not be okay.

Lean in.

I mean realizing the way you treated me is not okay and I'm not going to let it fly. The things you said are not okay, but I forgive you.
I mean seeking help and wisdom when it would be easier to shut down and hide.
I mean learning who I am and how I do life.

Lean in.

Lean in to who you are.

How do you connect with the Lord?
How do you feel cared for and loved?
How do you react to stress?
How do you hide when you feel shame?
How do you celebrate your uniqueness?
How do you communicate?
What are you good at?
What are you bad at?
What makes you smile?
Who makes you smile?
What's holding you back?
What do you like about yourself?
What do you dislike about yourself?
What do you need from people?
What are you passionate about?
What scares you?

Don't ignore these things. Name them. Own them. There is only one you.

There's only one Tabitha Kristine Conner.
And I'm done hiding who I am.
I have been created in my Creator's image.
I have purpose and value and worth.


That's what this year has been. Leaning into who I am. Leaning into who God is. And learning to actually believe in who God says he is. I'm learning to abide in the Vine.

It's been a year full of pain. Full of joy. Full of struggle.

But most of all: Full of growth.